Phoebe


What's your story?

As you pointed out to me, up until this project, for the past 6.5 years, my story has been "Cancer Survivor". This was literally the first time that I was looking at myself and not immediately identifying as that. Instead, I was identifying as a proud and happy female business owner, and a beautiful, witchy, spiritual lady who is graying gracefully and finally learning to love the parts of ME that I previously considered flaws. My story is full of trauma, health bullshit and financial difficulties. But recently, it's been filled with so much good. I've found a way to turn doing something I love into what seems to be a sustainable career. I'm figuring out how to never stop helping the people who are most important to me while remembering to put on my air mask first - not allowing the struggles of those I love to drag me under. I'm beginning to truly love myself and my body again. To feel beautiful, desirable, sensual, spiritual and downright Goddess-y despite the fact that my extensive medical history has essentially left me incapable of being a sexual being anymore. I don't really know exactly what my story is. But whatever it is, I will always be open to sharing every beautiful or shitty detail. Because if sharing any little thing I've gone through, come to understand, experienced or learned can help a single person out there, then it was worth putting out there.

What makes you nervous about having your portrait taken?

Honestly, I was not terribly nervous. Maybe because you make me so comfortable - because you look, as you said while we were chatting, like a cherub... who giggles a lot. I've been at ease in your presence since we met, which is rare for me. I typically connect much more readily to men, even on a friendship level. So this THING that we have - it made this nothing but exciting for me. I think the only thing I was really even remotely weird about (and I'd much more call it "weird" than "nervous") is that I feel like I make derpy faces when I know I'm being photographed. And I didn't want to do that with/for you. But when I looked at the proofs you send, there were really only a few derp faces. So I didn't share those. Hahaha.

Can I share some of your images?

Of course. You can share any of them - even the derps. Even the ones where my neck looks old and wrinkly that *I* hate. (That's a funny thing, too, honestly. My Grandma Mary, whom I think of as one of the most beautiful women I have ever see, hated the neck we ended up with genetically so much so that she has plastic surgery in her 60s to deal with it. My mum also hates that neck. And I always think she's crazy because she is beautiful and adorable no matter what. And yet, here I am. 43 years old with that same family neck and I fucking HAAAAATE it. Of course!!!)

What do you love doing that makes you feel kick ass?

Lately it's been taking pictures for my shop. I run a small online resale shop on eBay. I have found that